I Exist

Nov. 23rd, 2016 07:13 pm
kajel: (Me)
[personal profile] kajel
No one sees me. I work, I eat, I sleep. My life is monochromatic. There are no extremes. I exist, but do I live?

At work, I am forever forgotten. I walk in as unacknowledged as when I leave. The woman in the cubicle next to me doesn't know my name. We've worked side by side for three years.

There are no ups or downs. There is only the status quo. I exist, but do I want to live?

Strangers skip over me. There's no friendly banter, no smiles, no eye contact. I frequent the same businesses over and over. I never receive recognition. I remain alone in a sea of faces.

There are no depths of emotion. No peaks to aspire to. I exist, but I want to live.

I have found a book. A book of rituals and spells. I don't believe in such things, but there is one that calls to me. My days are filled with thoughts of how my existence could change. My life could become more.

This is obsession. Obsession is new to me. I exist, but I want to live!

The ritual is nearly complete. With the last word from my lips, something shifts. From nothing, before me, steps a creature of nightmares. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. For the first time, terror courses through my veins. It looks into my eyes and sees me.

The status quo is shattered. It's smile haunts my dreams. It hunts me. I am alive now, but how much longer will I exist?



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This is my entry for LJ Idol: S10 Week 1. The topic this week was I need the struggle to feel alive.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-24 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilmissmagic71.livejournal.com
OOOOOOO. Nicely done!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-25 01:39 pm (UTC)
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
From: [personal profile] meridian_rose
Intriguing; still not certain exactly what the narrator has unleashed or what could happen next!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
I'm glad you were intrigued.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-25 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anastoff.livejournal.com
Well done! Sometimes, I feel like I am just existing but not really living too, so very relatable.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-25 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
I think a lot of people can relate to feeling overlooked, especially very nice people with quieter or shyer personalities.

I loved the details here of what it felt like to be so ignored, and then the unexpected and scary results of the decision to take drastic action!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad the details worked for you.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-25 10:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleodswean.livejournal.com
EEEEEEE!!!! Nice twist! I liked how compact this was and how you got a zinger in there!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-25 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
Awesome! Love the ending.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellison.livejournal.com
Ooh nice, I like it!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-28 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-26 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
Whoa! You took me by surprise and I loved it! Superb! Great twist :D

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-28 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
I love taking people by surprise! ;) Thanks.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-27 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rayaso.livejournal.com
The end was wonderfully unexpected! This was a great description of loneliness and anonymity, and on a much lesser level, rudeness. How can a person work next to someone for all that time and not know her name? I am unsure if this is autobiographical, imaginary, or both, but to the extent this is personal, I hope you find the right spell to make things better for you.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-28 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
I am much to social and outspoken to languish in anonymity! In person anyway.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-28 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathrynrose.livejournal.com
I'm with [livejournal.com profile] rayoso. I was getting worried it was real then figured it out at obsession. An obsessed person usually doesn't know she is. :)

I worry you know. <3
Edited Date: 2016-11-28 06:49 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-29 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com
This was great. I especially loved the ending.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-29 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penpusher.livejournal.com
Good variation on the "be careful what you wish for" theme!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-11-29 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilz-workshop.livejournal.com
That was a surprising twist. Very well written.
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