kajel: (Me)
[personal profile] kajel
I know where I should be. My mind is three moves ahead, but somehow, I've lost a step in the process. My mind is there, however, not the rest of me. I see where I should be. How do I get there?

That's how I got caught. I knew where I needed to go. I lost the how. It's all so fuzzy now. I took a job. It seemed pretty routine to me. I have an excellent reputation for getting the job done. Excellent reputations are important. You don't get the good jobs like me if you don't have one. The good jobs mean good money. The money allows me to pick and choose the jobs I want. Got a good one. A job that is.

I remember the house clearly. Slip in, get what I came for and slip out. Easy money is good and builds the reputation more. Got caught though. I knew where I needed to be. I knew what I needed to do. It got fuzzy. My mind was there, but I wasn't.

I was out, easy as can be. I was moving, moving down the alley. There was a noise and I was up the fire escape in a flash. Only, I wasn't was I? I thought I was, but I was just standing. I remember that now. Just standing looking at the guard. That's not right. I should have been up above.

Fuzzy, cold and dark is all I have now. There was a stone pressing into my cheek, but it's gone now. Not me, the stone is gone; the stone and the guard. I don't hear them anymore. That's right, I heard them. They spoke to me. They said something important. I know it was important. If I could just remember.

I lost the how. My mind was up, but I wasn't. That's not good for the reputation. That's it!

"Reputations get too big."

Can't feel the ground anymore. Maybe it was too easy. The job I mean.






*******************

This is my entry for LJ Idol: S10 Week 4. The topic this week was “I don't skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going to be".

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-07 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tonithegreat.livejournal.com
Oooh, dark, but it works! You painted a lot with just a few strokes here. Very enjoyable.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-08 02:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-08 08:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
I wasn't sure at first if this was a dream or what, but re-reading it I see that the job and reputation aren't the kinds of work I first imagined. The alley and fire escape aren't metaphorical at all!

It looks as if this mistake was rather final for the narrator. I liked how much got packed into this vignette of should-be/could have been/wasn't quite.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-08 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you. This story was not one of those that went where I expected. It ran off in its own direction and I ended up with something unexpected. lol

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-08 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rayaso.livejournal.com
Really great! I was confused at first about the reality (dream or hallucination or real?) as you intended, with an excellent ending.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-09 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
I'm pretty sure my narrator wasn't quite sure what was happening either. lol Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-08 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rswndrlst.livejournal.com

I love the style of this! I also enjoy heist stories so I feel bad for the narrator
"My mind is three moves ahead, but somehow, I've lost a step in the process." This is truly one sentence that perfectly sums up a panic attack imo, the language here was all just great

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-09 01:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-08 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathrynrose.livejournal.com
quick and dark and tricky. :)

The contrast with your user pic adds an extra shade of dark. :P

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-09 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
lol I like tricky! I love that picture, with my feathers and my face paint.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-09 05:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleodswean.livejournal.com
Intriguing! I like how open-ended this is and how rational the narrator sounds!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 08:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sinnamongirl.livejournal.com
Interesting! A lot left unsaid; good job of telling the story without a lot of words!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com
I see where I should be. How do I get there?

This pretty much sums up my life right now, haha.

Love this.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you. It pretty much summed up my whole last year, now that I think about it.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dee-aar2.livejournal.com
Powerful. Short and Crisp ... yet so much has been conveyed.

Well Done

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] murielle.livejournal.com
Fascinating! I like your take on the prompt. Well done!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-10 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-11 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamas-minion.livejournal.com
Sometimes reputations are not good things.Nice story I like your take on the prompt.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-11 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kajel.livejournal.com
Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-11 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magazhchi.livejournal.com
I enjoyed how it lead me into that dark alley without suspecting that there was trouble brewing. Good Job!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-01-11 07:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
I am curious to know more. The back story, what happens next. A very interesting set up and it sucked me right in. Didn't expect the end to be like that. A great read :)
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