Learning to Deal With It

[kajel]

“Aye-yah!”

The class rang with spirit. My instructor easily blocked the round kick I launched at his temple as well as the cross punch to his solar plexus. I faked a front kick and swung in with an outside hook punch to the opening I saw at his ribs. My punch connected lightly.

“Good shot.” He said as he stepped back from me.

“Thanks!” I smiled. It was difficult for me to get through Jesse’s guard, so I was pleased with my small victory.

“Time.” He called out. “Change partners.”

When I realized I was now facing Randall, my enthusiasm waned somewhat. He was a nice enough guy. He was just tall, big and had difficulty with control. We’re the same belt level in class and my control isn’t always there either. It just seems like every time I spar with Randall, I get hurt.

“Sparring positions! Begin.”

“Aye-yah!”

We circled each other carefully. I realized we both preferred defensive sparring. We tend to let the other person make the first move. So, I went on the attack.

You would think that I could hold my own with Randall. We have the same amount of knowledge and my instructor told me once that I was a lot more ferocious than him. I used to be ok with sparring Randall. However, Randall either was or has become a bulldozer. Anytime I try a kick he throws his knee into my leg. If I punch, he steps into me and shoves me with his weight, then wonders out loud why I keep dancing away from him.

Last night he said, “you can’t keep moving away from me. You need to stay in close to get anything done.”

He told me what a great job I did and how I showed improvement there, but I should really have done this other thing. He’s starting to come across as patronizing. I’ve spent some time reviewing his actions and words and I think this might be a male-female thing.

I came away last night with a knot on my shin from his knee. His knee connected with enough force to numb my entire lower leg. By the time class was over, I was riled enough to seek advice.

My instructor’s advice, hit him, hard. I go to a no contact studio. We throw our pouches and kicks with speed and power, but with enough control to stop just short of actually hitting our opponent. The few times that I have been really hurt, I walked right into someone's move. You get hit. That’s the nature of Karate, but you can normally shake it off. You either walked into it, or someone has control issues.

His advice was given to help make Randall respect my space. It’s good advice, but maybe my last resort. I spoke with my husband about it when I got home. He is a black belt at the studio I go to and he knows Randall. He first suggested that I could always refuse to spar with him. I don't want that. I need to learn how to defend against him. If someone bigger than me attacks in real life, they will use their weight and strength against me also.

After a little more thought, my husband’s advice was lateral movement. If Randall throws his knee up in front of himself nearly every time in response to any kick, then I need to come at him from the side. It was good advice. I will need to be faster and lighter on my feet than Randall. He has weight, strength and reach on me. This is going to take work and a lot of practice. I am not willing to give up. There is a small part of me that wants to outpace and outshine him. My ego has gotten involved.

If nothing else, I could always hit him. Hard.

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This is my entry for LJ Idol: S9 Week 22. The topic this week was Sweep the Leg.

Comments

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

Hey sweetie! Don't know why this came to my inbox, but it did. :) I like it. What happened? Did you 'kick' Randall's ass? Certainly hope so. Sounds like he also has 'issues'. :)

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Like I said, he's a nice enough guy really. I almost wonder if he doesn't read social situations well or something like that. I don't know why he's been grating on me recently. He's just started coming across with 'let me help you and give you advice because your a girl' even though we are the same level. That's my take on it anyway. This just happened last night, so it's going to take a little time to learn to work with him.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

I've never done martial arts. I'd like to try some day. AW

[tatdatcm.livejournal.com]

I like that you are exploring every option before hitting the guy. It's kind of the opposite of what the prompt brings to mind.

Though I do hope you beat him. :)

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

I hope you do hit him. Thanks for giving the most physically compelling piece this week, taking the prompt all the way to the karate. It was a pleasure to read.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Good for you, for deciding to try to resolve the situation rather than avoid it!

And you certainly have a plan for it, including the ultimate fallback.

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

I like your husband's solution. I took Jung Sim Do in grad school, but we never did much sparring. Thought about writing about it but couldn't come up with a good focus for the piece.

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

Good luck! :)

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Minor typo here: "We throw our pouches and kicks..." Should be punches.

Good luck with Randall!

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Ha, well, I was doing good that day wasn't I! ;) Thanks.

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

He sounds like someone who probably shouldn't be learning karate. Or maybe he SHOULD be, just so he can learn how to control his amount of power.

If he were willing to learn it, anyway.

(Also, I hope you get to kick his ass, one day, lol)

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

Weight, strength and reach are a lot to overcome, but I suspect you'll get there!

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

I love your Spirit and I am rooting for you to beat Randall at his own game..;)..and maybe even let us know about it someday..Best of Luck *hugs*

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

As someone who once took Tae Kwon Do very seriously, I think you caught the dojo spirit very well here.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

I kept saying that also. So, I finally started! ;)

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think he is doing it purposefully. However, I realized that it is starting to intimidate me and I don't like that. :)

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[kajel.livejournal.com]

A plan is a good thing! Implementing it, well, that might be something different. ;)

[kajel.livejournal.com]

I did too, but I might need to be in better shape to really implement it.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[kajel.livejournal.com]

It's a mixed bag. He is a decent enough guy. I think I am dealing with two issues here. The way he moves overpowers and intimidates me. The way he has begun speaking to me makes me feel like he is the man, so he needs coach me to be as good as him.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

I am certainly going to give it my best shot! If I could move with the speed and precision of my husband, he wouldn't have a chance.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I will try to keep you guys posted.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I just started in May and it's been fun and very enlightening.

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

He was just tall, big and had difficulty with control.

Ugh. That doesn't bode well. But with the exception of that, karate seems super-awesome.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

I've known other men like Randall, because they're big and male they assume that they know more about everything than you, a female, could possibly know. It's annoying as hell, especially when you're in class together.

Good on you for trying to solve the problem instead of just taking it, and also for working to a solution that isn't simply punch him. I hope it works out.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

I know several people who've learned martial arts (mainly tae kwon do) and I've always respected the discipline they learn as part of their training. Sounds like Randall's missing the point completely on that score.

[favoritebean.livejournal.com]

What style of karate are you studying? My daughter is taking kenpo, which has taught me a fair amount. I do wonder though, why does Randall feel the need to condescend to you on the mat. Unless he's the instructor, he shouldn't be telling you what to do, period. Seems like something your Sensei should talk to him about.

[xlovebecomesher.livejournal.com]

I hope you do hit him!

[mamas-minion.livejournal.com]

I would say to hit him hard just once that should be enough to get him to back off.

[talon.livejournal.com]

you should hit him. hard. :D

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

I actually like the instructor's advice (I'm not the violent type, but I agree with his assessment, and that there are sometimes when that's the choice you're left with). I like how you ended this, too, that it does come back around to that advice. Well done. But, I'd really like to see you write the piece that tells us what happens after you put it into practice. Patiently awaiting chapter 2 of this saga, now.

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!