Losing the Fantasy

[kajel]

“Are we good?”

“Of course. I just had to put things in perspective.” I paste a smile on my face.

“What do you mean, perspective?”

She sounds irritated.

“I realize you didn’t mean to hurt me.” I say soothingly.

“Well of course I didn’t mean to hurt you! I wouldn’t do something like that.”

Now she sounds indignant. Funny how she feels she can be the indignant one here.

“I explained what happened. It was an accident. I don’t know why you’re so sensitive.”

The insult cut deep, but I was determined to keep the smile pasted on my face. A simple apology would have been nice. It always comes back to me somehow. Me and my flaws. It’s never about her.

“Like I was saying,” I start again, “I understand it was an accident.”

“Well, at least I’ve gotten that through to you. So, we’re good here right?” She looks at her watch. “I’ve got somewhere to be tonight.”

“Sure, we’re good.” I sigh as she turns and heads for the door.

“Great! I’ll call you later. Maybe we can do something without you overreacting next time.”

I stare at the door as it closes. How could she believe that everything was alright? How could I have thought things would be different?

I won’t cry. I have no tears left.


--------------

This is my entry for LJ Idol: S9 Week 23. The topic this week was The Fiction of the Fix.

Comments

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

“Great! I’ll call you later. Maybe we can do something without you overreacting next time.”

Grrr... So, she's oblivious to how much pain she really caused, is not truly apologetic, and is continuing to blame you for being hurt?

I would hope this someone you could choose to avoid altogether, but I have the feeling that it isn't. :(

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! It was actually fiction on my part. I have updated the tag. ;) The only person who hurt me in recent years, (I'm sure you know who), was cut out of my life without the chance for apology, explanation, etc.

I was thinking about how someone could hurt you, throw out meaningless words and think everything is fixed.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Haha- I'm so glad that was fiction.

I didn't get the sense that it was your neighbor, so in thinking who else it might be... that's the sort of parent or sibling dynamic we sometimes find ourselves trapped in.

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

It might be fiction, but I have lived that scenario several times.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

the minute someone throws around "too sensitive" and "overreacting" when you get upset that they hurt you, you know they're insincere and they're just going to do it again. this conversation is probably depressingly common.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

It really is. Thanks.

[waltzmatildah.livejournal.com]

Great, to-the-point(prompt) entry! Well done.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

Some people just create illusions in their minds about the world they live in, because they don't actually want to deal with the world that they create around them... that their actions leave in their wake. And, sadly, too, some people let them get away with it. I know, for my part, I no longer fall into that latter category, but, I did know what that felt like, once.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

The illusions we create can be hard to set aside. Thanks.

[oxymoron67.livejournal.com]

This was really well done... to the point and it packed a punch.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Glad this is more fic than for-real. What a jerk! *smack!*
AW

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Thanks.

[medleymisty.livejournal.com]

Definitely sounds like the ex-best friend. The whole "You're oversensitive and if you get upset when I abuse you it's your fault" thing is a favorite tactic of emotional abusers. Sigh.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Yes it is. Thanks.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

People like that are poisonous, you captured the inattention and casual disinterest very well.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[tatdatcm.livejournal.com]

You have a lot packed into just a few words here. It's very easy to relate to.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

I agree that it sounds very much like a sibling dynamic, and sadly, they're often oblivious to how what they say and do might hurt.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

So true.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I've known quite a few people like this one - well portrayed. :)

[kajel.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

Now she sounds indignant. Funny how she feels she can be the indignant one here.

“I explained what happened. It was an accident. I don’t know why you’re so sensitive.”

This right here = every "apology" my mom gave me ever. There is a reason she and I don't talk anymore and she's not allowed to see my son. People like that suck.

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

I'm glad this is fiction, but it certainly *feels* real.

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

Ouch. This truly encapsulates that conversation so many of us have had. Nice work.

[favoritebean.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness! I've had scenarios like this happen to me before, and it's ugly. They always use the "don't be so sensitive" line too.

Your piece was quite evocative.