Dreams of Fantasy, Echoes of Reality

I just browsed through my posts back to May. I thought maybe I had mentioned a plan I was supposed to implement this summer. It doesn't look like I did though. In June, tsumyah and I made a plan to exercise each day and try to hold each other accountable. For some reason, for me, implementing the plan was actually pretty difficult. I did decently for about a week, then it was birthdays and beach vacation. Then it was finding out about Mom's breast cancer, then my uncle's death, trip to the lake in August and so on. I had lots of excuses and not much exercising done. Then to top it all off I realized that I gained 15 lbs over those three months. :headdesk:

Even after a really good motivational talk with my BFF a couple of weeks ago, I still didn't get rolling. This weekend during the Tetris wars Ned and I had, I brought up my lack of follow-through. I asked Ned if he would be willing to work out with me on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays when he doesn't have Karate. The plan I presented was that we would do the strength training dvd I have together and I would do the cardio by myself on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays. I thought I would have to sell it to him, but he jumped on it. Honestly, I was so relieved. I can do really well when I have someone here to exercise with. We started last night. Ow.

I am so sore, but I got up around 3:30 this afternoon and did my cardio. I also made sure to keep my intensity up. I kept saying 'how would you exercise if someone was here watching you!' I was trying to make sure I wasn't lazy about it. It was funny to watch Nicky trying to exercise with me. He kept telling me 'this is easy Mommy'. Punk 4 year old. ;)

It has only been two days, but I feel better about this already. I have an end of the year goal in my head. If I want to start riding horses again, I need to keep up with this. Lose some weight and really get some muscle going on again.

I would like to be doing more with my card making. Several things I've seen lately, that I love, have card stock that has been embossed. I guess that means I am going to have to get my hands on a Cuttlebug,big shot or some other embossing and die cutter somehow. I have not looked them up yet. I have no idea how much they run. Either way, I know it is more than I have right now. If I could find something for $75 and under, I can ask whichever sister has me this year for Christmas. If not, I guess it will go on my list for Ned. I am planning a Christmas gift of homemade cards for someone. I am sure I will manage just fine without that embellishment at the moment.

I am feeling so much more creative and crafty lately. This is a good thing. I am supposed to get my hands on a file cabinet from a friend soon. I might use that to organize some of my supplies right here next to my desk. That should help me out. I could use lots more inks and a few stamps. Maybe I should let my Mom know that. ;) She could add those to her Christmas list for me. Seriously, she always buys way too much at Christmas.....lol.

This weeks writing challenge topic was selected by tsumyah.

The Face Outside

The deadline is midnight Friday. Have fun if you want to join in! This is not a competition. It is a writing challenge designed to get us to write on a regular basis.

The side affect of my NTI, aka toothy thing, breaking is that I had a migraine the beginning of last week and the middle of this week. It hurt to shell out the $686 for the new one yesterday, but not as much as it should have. I just have to have in now. It truly helps my headaches. I notice the tightening of my jaw muscles almost immediately when I don't sleep with it. The new one is a little bigger and a slightly new design. We are hoping I won't break it in 2 years also. It is super comfortable, so happy with it.

I have an entry to write for the writing challenge...really need to find a nice name for the challenge. After Idol's fun last night, I am glad that our little challenge isn't a competition. I have had my idea all mapped out in my head, but the migraine shot my focus to write it for a couple of days. curiousdreams, my hubby for those of you newer folks, posted his entry on Tuesday!

The kids were supposed to run away to Nana's this weekend, but that is in the air right now. I was spoiled when they were smaller in that I got to run away once a week for about 6 hours and they were gone to Nana's or Granny's almost every third weekend. Those during the weeks are pretty much non existent now and Nana takes them about once every two months and they haven't been to Granny's since February. Pre- school starts Tuesday. I will get 2 1/2 hours to myself on tuesdays and Thursdays. Nicky is going 5 days a week this year, but Katey is back in the 2 year old class. She is all set now for moving through pre-school into kindergarten.

I think it is time for some breakfast. Hope you all have a lovely Friday!

This morning Mom is having her mastectomy at Albany Med. My Dad and sisters are all there. Surgery starts at 9 am and should not last more than six hours. I may be a bit of a basketcase this morning. Serious distractions may be in order.

In other news, I made my BFF sign up for LJ again. ;) We are planning to do some writing exercises together. Deadlines are our friends. lol Basically, the plan is to alternately post a prompt on Sundays and we have until Friday Midnight to finish our stories. We will take Saturdays to discuss and critique our work. I am pretty excited about it. I have been telling her how much LJ Idol has helped in dusting the rust off my writing skills and imagination. I have been using her as my beta most times and my stories have gotten her excited about writing again also. The more I exercise my skills, the better I will become at them. We may have to create a name for our challenge.

Next subject change! Here is a picture of my kitchen cabinet from Wednesday.



I went shopping after vacation with a plan and menu established. I had 13 recipes that I was shopping for. These are just the veggies. The meat was in the fridge and I didn't snap a picture of that. I spent the last two days chopping and bagging crockpot meals to go in the freezer. It was a lot of work and the very first thing I did was get a blister on my finger. Yeah, that was crazy. I am inviting a friend over to help me next time. Seriously, if someone just labeled all the bags and added the spices and canned items while someone else chopped veggies, I think that would improve the flow so much. I could have been more organized about it, but I did good. My freezer looks semi full and I didn't even finish it all. I have 12 meals in there and a few of them might feed us for two days.

This is an intersection. My story should be read first. For part two, click the link below the story. Thanks!


D-minor was a simple key. She was from a harmonic family. She had a few melodic cousins, but they didn't associate that much. An aunt had created a scandal when she ran off with a sharp. D-minor wasn't aware of which sharp as the family didn't really like talking about it. Not that it mattered much to her. She had her own life with her own problems at the moment. She had developed a label. It wasn't even a very flattering label, D-minor: saddest of all keys.

It was like she was walking under a stigma. She couldn't figure out why people thought she was so sad. She felt she was a pretty happy key overall. She had several friends. Her friend, 13, was pretty great. They had met at a young age. 13 had protected her when a few chords had begun teasing her. They didn't bother her again. After that incident she and 13 became best friends. As she grew up, 13 had developed a reputation also. It was like others were scared of her. Sure she had a bit of a temper, but it only came out when 13 came across bullying or some other type of injustice. D-minor didn't really get the attitude. 13 was a sweetheart. Always doing things for others. B-flat and G were good buddies. They hung out with her fairly often. D-minor wasn't always the life of the party, but she had a good sense of humor and enjoyed socializing.

The one downside of her life was her seeming inability to find a partner. Maybe that was why others always thought of her as sad. Although, if that was the case, then they were just projecting what they felt she needed onto her. All of her friends had found that special someone. Even 13 had found another prime that matched her quite well. D-minor didn't really feel left out our like a third wheel. Though, it would be nice to find that perfect someone. She had always dreamed that by this time in her life she would have settled down with her special someone. She and 13 had a discussion about it recently. 13 had given her some good advice. She had also given her a website to try.

D-minor stared at the website in question. It had taken her over a week to get up the courage to even look at the site. Now she sat staring at the page. The first line said it all.

'Looking to harmonize, maybe meet that perfect fraction! Then Matchtype.net is for U and you.'

It looked like just needed to fill out the long questionnaire and the site would do its magic. She would be given a list of possible matches on the site and it would be up to D-minor to contact them. Simple enough right? With a deep breath, she decided to just get it over with. She opened the questionnaire and began entering her answers. Then she fiddled with her profile a bit. D-minor wanted to make sure it was just so, before heading off to bed. She would see what the site had for her in the morning.

The next morning, D-minor leapt out of bed. Her coffee couldn't drip fast enough for her. She lost no time in getting the computer up and running and checking her email. She frowned at the first selection. What does love pump actually mean? This G sharp fellow is kind of creepy. She could just hear what her mother would say about dating a sharp.

The next email was a lot more interesting. It was from the number 1.

'People tell me all the time that I'm the loneliest number. I don't see it. Personally, I believe I am a hopeless romantic. I am looking for someone for a meaningful, honest relationship with whom I can also relate on a spiritual and intellectual level. Someone fun loving who would be up for something like a spontaneous stroll at night with my three dogs.'

D-minor thought 1 sounded like a pretty interesting character after reading his full profile.  Maybe this whole online dating thing wasn't as terrifying as she thought it was going to be. 

She spent the next hour typing, deleting, and retyping an introduction to 1.  Getting the wording just right was proving to be a little difficult.  She didn't want to come across as too eager, but she also didn't want to seem too diffident either.  Finding a balance was taking time and a lot of thought.  13 was right.  She needed to just get out there and meet someone.  Maybe that someone could be 1.  After all, if they got together, he wouldn't be the loneliest number anymore.


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This is my Home Game entry for LJ Idol: Exhibit B. This week's topic was one of four. It was also an intersection, and my partner is sweeny_todd! I chose D-minor:Saddest of all Keys for my topic. sweeny_todd used the topic All That Jazz and her conclusion to the story can be found here. I had so much fun with this!!!

Laron was behind the counter of Master Wernin's shop. It would soon be dark and he was cleaning up as he prepared to close. Behind him the bell on the door jingled as a late customer arrived. Laron turned to greet the customer and was stunned into silence.

‘Naya.’ Laron thought excitedly. After eight long years, Naya had returned. Laron watched as she approached the counter. She was thin, almost gaunt. He could see that her journey had not been easy. Her sandy blond hair was pulled back with a simple leather tie. Her blue eyes no longer reminded him of a clear sky. There were shadows of pain in her gaze.

She looked so different from the girl who had disappeared when she was eighteen. This woman looked hardened by her experiences, travel weary. He had known that she was restless when he had taken his apprenticeship, but the day she had disappeared had been very painful even though he had been expecting it. There had been no word from her. She had gone out one day for a run and, as the day drew to a close, had kept on running.

"Naya..." he whispered.

Startled, Naya looked into the darkened corner behind the counter. She had not seen Laron standing there. The relief she felt when she saw him was nearly overwhelming. He looked astounded. She smiled. She did not realize how her smile transformed her face. Suddenly, Laron could see the girl he had known, in this hard looking woman who stood in front of him.

Naya laughed delightedly as Laron came around the counter and swept her right off her feet in a tight hug. He spun her round and round in his excitement.

"Put me down you big oaf. You are making me dizzy." Naya laughed helplessly as Laron slowly stopped spinning.

"I have been waiting so long for you to come back. When you didn’t show up after my apprenticeship I got a little worried about you, but I knew eventually you would come." He said as he set her back on her feet.

"I was not sure that I would still find you here, Laron. This was where I was going to begin my search for you. I thought when a wizard's apprenticeship was over he had to go out and find a place that needed him. He couldn't stay with his master."

"I refused to leave. I knew that you would find your way back to me eventually. Master Wernin threw me out on my ear like a proper Wizard should, but I still would not leave Ishli. I did not break my oaths. I have not used a single speck of magic for three years. Master Wernin finally allowed me to come run his shop. For three years he has been able to concentrate on research. The Wizards Council was appalled. They tried to strip me of my title of Master Wizard, but since I did not break my oaths, they failed." Laron related his tale stoically.

"How difficult it must be, Laron, to not be able to use your magic. I am so sorry. Why did you stay and subject yourself to that kind of torture." Naya was dismayed by Laron's story.

"This is where you had left me, Naya, and this is where I had to be when you came back. I know what you searched for. I see that you have not yet found your clan. I knew you were coming back after my apprenticeship. I was afraid that if I went wandering, you would not be able to find me."

Tears slowly welled up in Naya's eyes and fell down her cheeks. Laron was right. He was family to her. The only family she had. Three years ago when his apprenticeship was soon to be over, she had begun her return. War and upheaval in distant lands had kept her from her goal.

"I must say though, Naya," he said with sudden cheer as he wiped the tears from her face, "I did expect you much sooner than this."
Naya laughed suddenly at his good humor. It was good to be back.

"Did you come straight here, or did you find an inn first?" Laron asked.

"You still know me too well, Laron." Naya grinned. "I am staying at the Carriage House by the north gate."
Ishli was a small city, but it was a border town. A very tall thick wall surrounded Ishli. There were only two ways into the city, by North Gate or South Gate. The border had been a peaceful place now for well over a century. Ishli had begun to spread beyond its gates. Now there was the inner city, and the outer city.

"Excellent choice. The Carriage House is very respectable, and very pricey. How did you manage that?” Laron asked.

“I actually worked Laron. Paid wages. Me.” Naya said in a theatrical voice.

“You, working? I would have paid good money to see that.” He chuckled. “There are some things that I need to do if I am going to be able to leave Ishli tomorrow. I will meet you for breakfast in the morning and we can stop by the market on our way out of town."

"Where are we going?" Naya asked taken aback.

"Going? Why to search for your clan." Laron glanced at Naya in surprise. "You are not going to be happy until you discover your past, and I am not letting you out of my sight again."

Naya chuckled. "It's so good to see you again Laron. I have missed you."

"I missed you also Naya. It has been difficult these past years without you to share with." Laron's voice was choked with emotion. "Now off with you. I have a lot to do if I am going to be ready in the morning. I need to go speak with Master Wernin."

Naya smiled warmly at Laron. "Alright, I will see you tomorrow morning." She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek then turned and went back out the door.

Back at the Carriage House, Naya picked at her supper. She had found a quiet corner of the common room where the bustle and noise did not interrupt her musings. Seeing Laron again after all these years had been wonderful. Naya only had a vague notion of the rules and oaths wizards must follow. She did not understand why Laron had been unable to use magic when he refused to leave Ishli. Naya did understand what not using magic meant to Laron. Magic had always flowed through him freely. It was his nature. Containing such magic for three years so that not even a speck would escape? She would not have thought him capable of such control.
Naya grimaced at herself. Maybe that was not a fair thought. She remembered the boy Laron used to be. Wild and unpredictable, his magic had manifested itself at the most inopportune times. He caused havoc and disarray wherever he traveled. The man before her today was much different.

Seeing the man of today, and not the boy of yesteryears, had shown Naya how much she also had changed. That was the real reason she was in such a contemplative mood. She pushed her food restlessly around the plate, eating very little of it. She faced some hard truths about herself tonight. She had always pushed away such thoughts. She had kept them hidden, buried very deep. Tonight she excavated deep into her buried pain. Leaving Laron eight years ago had been...difficult. But the need to find her past had been very strong. She had searched for her clan. Not finding them after so many years was painful. She felt like she had failed in an important task. Oh, in her mind, Naya knew that her feelings were unfounded. However, her heart often did not follow her mind.

Naya had not realized how lost she had become until tonight. Without her mother or Laron as an anchor, Naya had withdrawn into herself. She felt rejected by her clan, a clan who did not even know she existed. With each defeat, each trail that led to a dead end, Naya had slowly given up. Something she was not accustomed to doing.

'And maybe', Naya thought to herself, 'that was why I had not found them.' She had not believed she would. That night Naya looked deep into herself to see and understand what she truly wanted.

At daybreak the next morning Naya woke refreshed. She felt lighter than she had in a very long time. She gathered her few belongings and went down to the common room to await Laron. Naya had only been seated a few minutes when Laron swept into the inn. Naya studied him as he approached her. He was tall, a lot taller than she remembered. He was no longer a lanky boy. He had filled out quite nicely. His thick black hair was short, contrary to the more popular longer style at the moment. Energy was fairly bursting from him in waves. He looked good. Laron grinned when he spotted her.

'This is what has been missing,' she thought. This peaceful feeling she found in Laron's company. It did not matter what the future was going to bring. With Laron by her side, she could face anything.


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This is my entry for LJ Idol: Exhibit B. This week's topic was one of three. I chose Finding Serenity.

My sister, Stacy, is 34 years old. She is a registered nurse and works in the cardiac ward at a hospital in NY. She has her dream job and she is living life to the fullest. She wanted to be a doctor when she was younger, but one of her doctors told her that residency would kill her. He meant that literally. My sister's heart has been a ticking time bomb all of her life.

My parents brought Stacy home from the hospital in April of 1979. She's the third daughter. They had one week of happy normal parenthood before m y mother realized Stacy seemed to be sick. So, she took her to the doctor. The story I have heard my whole life is that the doctor took one look at Stacy, scooped her up and ran for the door saying that she needed to get to the hospital across the street as soon as possible. Stunned, my mom ran after him.

Without medical intervention, my sister had only hours to live. What no one had discovered until then was, Stacy had a birth defect in her heart. Her aortic valve that should have three flaps that open and close while the valve pumps blood, only has two. This allows blood to flow the wrong way through the valve. She also has Aortic Stenosis. My mom always described that as the muscle of her heart grows slowly and keeps trying to close off the valve.

Stacy had her very first heart surgery when she was eleven days old in Phoenix, Arizona. The prognosis given to my parents was that she wouldn't live to see her 16th birthday.

Stacy was always the most independent of the four of us girls. I remember when we were young; she had to have medication every day. She was always so very skinny. We called her our skinny bone jones. I don't think she appreciated the nickname. She seemed sickly to me in the first five or six years of her life. You didn't ever tell her how sick she was though or that she couldn't do something. That was pretty much throwing down the gauntlet. She was a tenacious little thing. She would do whatever it was and be damned the consequences.

Her second surgery was in Chicago Illinois when she was five years old. Her third surgery was in Los Angeles, California just a year later at the age of six. I remember that there was a visiting pediatric cardiologist who just happened to be there. He caught that the work done in the surgery in Chicago was no longer working. After that surgery, I think Stacy was stronger for a long time. She was no longer on medications daily.

In school, Stacy was able to play softball, but not basketball as she wanted. As I said, she was independent and didn't want to be thought of as sick. She did know her limits. Sometimes, she would push them. A few times, other people pushed them. Substitute teachers and PE didn't mix. The class was running a mile the day Stacy plus a sub equaled a trip to the ER. The teacher assumed Stacy was slacking and lying and forced her to run the mile. After, she went into the bathroom, passed out and cracked her head open on the sink. Luckily, episodes like this were very few and far between.

We celebrated Stacy's 16th birthday with extra cheer. A few months after her 21st birthday, she started haveing major problems again. She ended up requiring a pacemaker, because they had left the valve alone for too long. Part of her heart muscle had been damaged. She had her fourth surgery that fall in Jacksonville, Florida. This time she was finally grown completely. They replaced her aortic valve with an artificial valve. She could have had a pig valve. The doctor told her that with a pig valve, she would still be able to have children. However, that valve only lasts about seven years. The thought of surgery again in seven years was too daunting.

In March 2010, Stacy discovered her artificial valve was failing. She needed surgery as fast as possible before the valve failed for good. Stacy's 5th surgery was a week before her 31st birthday in Albany, NY. The doctor ended up replacing the failing aortic valve that was already artificial and also the mitral valve. With all the scar tissue from previous surgeries, the surgery was extremely difficult. The six-hour surgery lasted eleven hours. When he was done, the doctor told my mother that if he ever said he was going to do a surgery on a 5th time surgical heart patient again, she was to hit him with a bat and remind him of what he just went through, because he didn't ever want to have to do that again. My mother loves that surgeon. He was one of the few personable ones.

My sister has recovered and has moved on with life again. She is doing pretty well for someone who wasn't going to see her 16th birthday. Thank goodness medical science continues to move forward.

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This is my entry for LJ Idol: Exhibit B. This week we are doing two topic. This is my first for The Heart of Time. My second entry can be found here for the email that made you feel like a BAMF.

Well, it is poll time again in Idol. There are some really great entries. I have really been enjoying this experience. Read, vote, ignore....whatever you prefer. ;)

I just knew that with our first child, my husband and I were having a boy. We had been trying for nearly a year. In June of 2008, our lives got shaken up as we had a house fire and I decided to quit my job and go back to school. At that point, the thought of a baby went on the back burner as we started to deal with all that we were facing. What we didn't know for several more weeks was I was already pregnant. When discussing children, my husband and I decided on only having two. I come from a bigger family and would not have minded having more. Ned, however, has only ever wanted two. I was good with that.

I was not surprised when the ultrasound tech said we were having a boy that first time. I had expected it. How did I know that our first was going to be a boy? That was the pattern. In my generation, I am the oldest grandchild on my Mom's side of the family. Of the ten grandchildren, there are eight girls and two boys. At the time that I became pregnant, there were seven great-grandchildren. All of them were boys.

Twins were also definitely something that ran in both sides of our families. With that first pregnancy, lots of friends and family wished twins upon me. That first time around I might have been all right with that. I didn't have children yet and if we had twins, I would be done.

Everyone I spoke to told me boys are so much easier than girls. I heard this from nearly everyone I spoke to about my pregnancy. Apparently, I knew a lot of people who had boys, besides all my cousins. This bit of wisdom was one of many ideas that were passed along to me. You know how it is, you're pregnant, having surgery, having a root canal, etc. and you hear all the stories from everyone else. You hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Nine months after the fire, we had Nicholas. The builders gave us the keys to our rebuilt home five days before he was born. We had a new house and a new baby.

In 2010, I became pregnant with our second child. I secretly decided if it was a boy, I was talking Ned into a third. I wanted a girl. If it was a girl, well then, he was off the hook. I say secretly, but when friends asked, I would joke that if it was a boy, we were having number three in a couple more years. Ned is one of those few people who can arch a single eyebrow. I got that look plenty of times when I made that joke.

During that second pregnancy, it seemed like the twin curse became more prevalent. I started making a list. If you mentioned twins to me, your name went down on my hit list. I had a son who wouldn't be quite two when the next baby was born. I didn't really need three at that point. I still have that list.

At the time my second child was on the way, there were nine great-grandsons. I waited very impatiently for the ultrasound that would let us know whether it was a boy or girl. If we were only having two, I wanted desperately for us to have a boy and girl. Besides, I wanted to have the first great-granddaughter.

I was so worked up over the ultrasound I couldn't sleep the night before. I lay there with my husband waiting for the little wiggle worm to hold still long enough to get a good look at the gender. The baby was not cooperating with us at all. The ultrasound tech had nearly given up, but luckily for us she took one last look before we were done. It was a girl. I felt like I was literally bouncing off the walls with excitement. I think I called everyone I knew while we drove home. We were moving away from blue and into pink.

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This is my entry for LJ Idol: Exhibit B. This week's topic was one of four. I chose Out of the Blue.


The tally so far is ten great-grandsons and three great-granddaughters. Our little Katey Rose was the first by a few weeks. I didn't need to talk Ned into another. ;)